


You Can Watch Me Bleed

by steviewantsjoshler



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Blood, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Soft Boys, but there will be blood, future smut, m/m - Freeform, not gorey, soulbond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 07:02:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13289568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviewantsjoshler/pseuds/steviewantsjoshler
Summary: A deep cut forms above your heart when you fall in love. You can bleed until the person you fall in love with bleeds for you also. Its said that the cut forms as a result of your mates soul trying to bond with your own. In very rare cases you can bleed at first sight.Josh saw Tyler.





	You Can Watch Me Bleed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TwoBoysInABand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoBoysInABand/gifts).



> I'vebeen working on this fic for quite awhile... Long time reader. First time posting in the Joshler fandom. I don't have the second chapter done yet but I'm working on it. Title taken from The Smashing Pumpkins song "Bleed". This story is for TwoBoysInAband. Amazing author...to whom I owe an apology to. Sorry, girl for being a shit friend. I know I suck at life but I feel awful for sucking in general ❤ hope you like this fic.

Josh didn't care for dates. He especially didn't care for blind dates. Somehow, though, his friend Brendon had managed to set Josh up on a blind date with a man named Jesse.

Other than the fact that Josh was lonely, he wasn't sure why he kept taking on these dates Brendon would set him up on. Not that they had been bad people per se, but Josh was...picky, and also genuinely unsure of himself and everyone he meets. 

Oh, Brendon thought Jesse and Josh were perfect for each other. Brendon had already set Josh up on enough dates to assume this would be an equal disaster to the last.

Regardless, Josh showed up to the bar Brendon had directed him to and waited. Brendon showed up. Along with three other strangers. Josh wasn't unimpressed by Jesse's looks. Jesse was beautiful. Tall, pale skinned, dark hair, lanky built, and beyond inked. But the person holding onto a beautiful blonde woman behind Jesse caught Josh's eye.

Infact, he felt dizzy at the sight of the man behind Jesse. The man was wearing a floral kimono, black tank top, black skinny jeans. His dark hair was shaved mostly on the sides but sticking up on the top, curling slightly at the ends. The mans skin was almost pale but had an olive palour. 

 

Josh felt pain. 

Josh felt a sharp pain in his chest. A sharp pain ripping through his body, starting at his chest. Jesse was smiling at him. The beautiful man with the beautiful blonde was staring at him. Josh began to bleed through his baby blue button up and everyone in the group stared. 

Josh wanted to crawl into a hole in the wall and die. 

He's bleeding through his baby blue button up shirt, he wanted to cry. 

Jesse exclaimed, "What the fuck, Brendon?!"

Brendon was watching Joshs shirt become slicked with blood. Jesse was watching Josh bleed through his baby blue shirt. The man with the beautiful blonde woman was watching Josh bleed though his baby blue shirt.

Josh decided that this was the worst moment in his twenty-eight years of life. He couldn't take his eyes off of the gorgeous brunette that held hands with the blue eyed blonde. Brendon said nothing. Jesse, the beautiful tattooed wonder, watched blood stain Josh's baby blue button up shirt. 

Josh?

Josh continued to stare at the man in the floral kimono, because his mind couldn't let him stop. The man was staring at the growing blood stain on Josh's baby blue button up. Josh decided he wanted to leave. Jesse was pretty, but Josh's heart had led him elsewhere. Josh decided that falling in love was way beyond over-rated. Josh made his way out of the bar, he could hear their voices behind him. 

"What the hell just happened?" asked Jesse.

"He bled. Who is he?" Asked Tyler. 

"Josh," answered Brendon, "And i think he just fell in love." 

*** 

Josh hid from Brendon. He continued to bleed for someone he had never met. He ignored text and any other communication. Brendon tried. Hell, even Jesse had tried. Josh refused all communication. He hid in his apartment, and refused to speak with Brendon. Josh *hid* No matter what he did he was *hiding*. Nothing could stop him... but Josh thought of the man he bled for. 

Josh thought of the beautiful man wearing the floral kimono. Josh believed he was losing his fucking mind. 

*** 

The man in the floral kimono felt like he was losing his mind. Here was this beautiful male...that took one look and fell in love. 

Tyler wished he could bleed for the man. He had bled before but nothing came of it. Tyler bled and bled but he only ended up with a sad and aching heart. Then he met Jenna. Jenna didn't bleed for him and Tyler didn't bleed for her. They were happy. The sex was great. Tyler felt like he might have been in love with her but also felt like something big was missing. 

Now all Tyler could think about was Josh. According to Brendon, Josh couldn't be reached. Wouldn't answer phone calls or text or the door of his apartment. Brendon explained that Josh was an easily embarrased, stubborn ball of anxiety but was a very nice guy normally. Tyler felt for Josh. He had bled once before and spent nearly six months healing from it. The man he had bled for had no interest to bond and left Tyler cold and hurt and bitter. Tyler couldnt imagine leaving someone to feel that way but wasnt sure how to go about talking to Josh. While Tyler was interested in a bond, he wasnt sure how far it would go. Or even how far he would want it to go. Platonic? No, bonds were never platonic if actually pursued. 

What did Josh want? Tyler had never witnessed anyone bleed at first sight and would be lying if he didnt feel extremely flattered. Josh looked like a guy anyone could be attracted to, and Tyler had always felt boring and mousy looking. Josh was far from boring looking, especially while bleeding through that baby blue shirt. Wild pink hair, a nose ring, and a body that Tyler couldn't forget.

As days passed by Tyler realised he needed to make a plan of some sort. Josh wouldnt stay off of his mind so he weighted his options. He could be a coward and ignore the problem until it went away. But that really wasn't an option at all seeing as he had been hurt before by that option. Hurting Josh was not an option. 

He could try to make contact with Josh. Surely Brendon would give him Josh's number. But that just seemed too impersonal. And what about Jenna? If Tyler decided to pursue something with Josh it was more than likely he couldn't remain with Jenna anymore. But couldn't he just try to get to know Josh? Yeah that could work. Tyler loved Jenna but felt an intense magnetic pull to a man he'd only very briefly met once which just felt messed up. 

Still, Tyler fully planned on getting Josh out of hiding. Tyler tried to consider how to go about doing so. He thought about how he'd felt being rejected by the man he had bled for. It had been one of the worst times in his life and had made him question his own worth. That was until he figured out that the man was just a grade A Asshole to everyone. Tyler never understood why his soul would try to bond with someone like that. During that time he'd felt so embarrassed and wished that the man would have even tried to relate or be a friend in any compasity. Yet it seemed like Josh was also rejecting the idea of Tyler. But Tyler couldn't be sure of that since his own self doubt liked to feed him negativity for breakfast lunch and dinner. 

Tyler made a plan. First, he'd get Josh's address from Brendon. Then he'd... Fuck he wasnt sure what he'd do yet. 

*** 

Josh felt annoyed and guilty. Annoyed because Brendon kept sending him texts asking if he was over his "love period" yet. He felt guilty because he had spent the past four days ignoring the existance of his friends and calling into work claiming to be sick. 

Trully, he DID feel sick. His chest ached badly and he couldn't control the bleeding. No bandages he had found had helped much. He would bleed straight through them as soon as Tyler would pop into his mind. 

After ruining several shirts in multiple attempts to feel normal he gave up shirts entirely. Instead he moped around his apartment holding a towel to his chest. He didnt care if he stained them. No amount of pain meds stopped the aching in his chest. Really, it felt like he had broken ribs because it even hurt to breathe at times. The pain got worse if he thought of Tyler. 

Tyler with the floral kimono and the angelic face. Tyler's shocked expression as he watched Josh bleed through his shirt. Tyler hand in hand with beautiful blonde woman. Brendon had sent several texts trying to coax Josh into talking.  
**how's the love period going?**  
**are you avoiding me?**  
**jish i dont care if youre on your love period. I miss you**  
**ill buy you taco bell and maxi pads if youll just talk to me**  
** tyler keeps asking about you.**  
** Hes really a great guy and hes worried about you bc hes been where you are.**  
**I mean, he didnt start his love period at first sight but he has bled before and got his heart broken. I think he just wants to know you so, give him a chance eh?**

Josh couldnt fathom the thought of actually talking to Tyler. Just thinking about the man made his chest feel like it was going to explode. After a couple more days of Josh's hiding the knocks on his door finally stopped, as well as the texts. So after silence it shocked Josh when there was a knock on his door. It was a very soft knock, not like Brendon's insistent banging. Josh gripped the towel tighter to his chest and tip toed to the door to look out the peephole. 

Tyler. 

Josh's breath hitched in his throat as pain tore through his chest. It was bad enough that tears began to sting his eyes. Tyler stood outside his door looking very nervous, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Josh could see that he was holding what looked like a large shoe box in his hands. 

Tyler finally looked at the peep hole and Josh jumped back some from the door. 

"Josh," Tyler spoke softly but clearly, "I know you're there. I can feel you. Soulbond stuff ya know." 

Josh did not reply but tears finally made their way down his cheeks. "So I, um, brought you a few things that might help you because I know what youre going through. I-I just..." Tyler trailed off with a sigh, "I'll leave it here outside your door." Josh heard a small noise of the box being set on the ground. "Josh?" Tyler spoke even more quietly. 

Josh stepped carefully to the door again and looked through the peephole. Tyler spoke again, softly, while looking at the peephole. Josh felt the vulnerability in Tyler's soft, coffee colored eyes. "I-I really can't stop thinking about you so...could you give me a chance? Just one chance because I... I'm just so sorry you're feeling how I felt before and I... felt so alone. Brendon talks about what an amazingly sweet guy you are and what a great friend you are and how funny you are and...and I would really like to know that for myself." Tyler sighed, shook his head, and walked away. 

Joshstood frozen until he heard a faint sound of a car start and drive away. He stood still thinking of Tyler's words. The pain in his chest had become a warm, sweet feeling instead as Tyler had spoken. Josh got a distinct feeling of sincerity from Tyler. But now that Tyler was gone the ache resumed. 

Josh opened the door and leaned out, looking left and right. No Tyler. Just an actual shoe box with no lid. Josh bent down, picked up the box, and retreated back into his apartment. Josh sat on the couch and set the box on his lap. 

Inside the box was a bottle of peroxide, a large box of absorbant bandages with foam backings, a roll of medical adhesive tape, a folded piece of note book paper, and, at the bottom of the box Josh discovered a folded up shirt. It was a baby blue button up very much like he had ruined when he had first seen Tyler. Josh sat back and let the warmth in his chest settle as he unfolded the paper. It was a written letter. 

*Josh,* *Hello. I hope these things help you. Those particular bandages helped me a lot. They absorb better than most of the other kinds out there and saved quite a few of my shirts in the past. And that tape was easier on my skin.* *The perioxide helps get blood out of most fabrics, especially if the blood is still wet. Pour it directly onto the stain, let it foam for a minute, pour more on, then let the clothing soak in a sink of cold water maybe over night. Throw it in with your next wash. It usually helps, but not always.* *I saw the shirt the other day and thought of you. Hopefully it fits.* *I know you must feel really embarrassed right now. I've been trying since that night to think of a way to talk to you. I know that you're in a lot of pain, because I was too. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide from me.* *So I've been thinking I ought to level the playing field by telling you a few embarrassing things about myself.* *I once told my entire grade school class that I was half lesbian when I actually meant that I'm half Lebonese.* *On the first date I ever went on, I took the girl to a skating rink, even though I really didn't know how to skate very well. As soon as we got on the floor she took my hand and my feet went over my head. She left with a senior from the school we went to.* *The first time I was with a guy my mom caught me and gave us BOTH the sex talk...while we were still naked under the blankets on my bed.* *I drool really badly in my sleep.* *The first time I bled for someone they turned out to be a complete jerk.* *Josh, I don't want to be like that guy. I am with a woman named Jenna and have been for around two months. She's a good one but now I feel torn because I desperately want to get to know the man who could take one look at me and bleed like that. Would that be okay? Could we at least get to know each other?* *So this is me, trying to get you to come out of hiding.* *Please? See? I'm asking nicely.  
Here is where I'm supposed to give you my number and say text me. But that's pointless, if I'm gonna get you out of hiding. So, here is my address.I'm making spaghetti Thursday night around 7. My spaghetti skillz are on point. If you don't come over and have my spaghetti you will be really missing out.* *And you'll hurt my feelings, too.*  
(Are you convinced yet?)*  
*Never waste good spaghetti,* *  
-Tyler* 

Josh felt a little overwhelmed. Tyler had made him laugh, feel like crying, and fall in love a little more all with one letter. How the fuck was he supposed to meet him when he couldn't even control his emotions while reading a letter? 

It was Tuesday night. Josh had two days and one night to prepare himself to either go, or to not go. Somehow he knew if he didn't go that Tyler would keep trying. 

Ifhe did go he had a possibility to meet and bond with the soul of his hearts desire...and possibly embarrass the hell out of himself by giving Tyler some kind of blood bath. 

Josh certainly hoped those bandages worked. 

*** 

Thursday night finally arrived. 

Tyler had everything set up. For once he didn't over cook the spaghetti noodles. For once the sauce turned out exactly like his mom had always made it. His apartment was cleaner than it had ever been. His hair didn't look stupid. But it was 7:15 pm and Josh still hadn't shown up. 

Tyler was freaking out. Maybe he should put music on? Would that be weird? Would silence make it weirder? Tyler paced. His arm pits smelled fine. His clothes looked fine on him.

Tyler sat down on his couch and bounced his knee. Should he put shoes on? He really hoped Josh liked coke-cola because that's what he had gotten to drink.

Oh gosh, what if Josh didn't like spaghetti? What if Josh was allergic to cats? Tyler eyed his cat, Scrumptious, with suspition. Scrumptious looked back at him from her spot on the floor by Tyler's feet, then ran into the bedroom. 

Daddy has lost it. 

It was 7:22. The sauce was getting cold. Tyler's heart was getting cold from worry. Josh wasn't gonna show. He decided after pacing some more to call Brendon. Brendon loves spaghetti and he could really use a friend besides a frightened black cat right now.

*** 

Josh had been sitting outside of Tyler's apartment for about 25 minutes. He had pulled up before 7 but after parking and turning off the car, he couldn't move. 

Josh was actually excited to get to spend time with Tyler but all these embarrassing and outlandish scenarios kept popping into his mind. 

Josh knocks on the door. Tyler opens it and smiles. Josh sprays him down with blood like a high powered garden hose. Tyler looks sick and tells Josh he's changed his mind. 

They're eating dinner, it's delicious and Josh is actually having a good time. Then Tyler asks if Josh wants dessert and Josh's chest bursts like an opened fire hydrant of blood and covers Tyler. Tyler looks angry and disgusted with Josh and tells him to leave and that he never wants to see him again. 

Josh looks in the review mirror. He thinks is hair looks stupid. The pink has faded and looks as light as cotton candy. His curls had refused to be tamed. His face looked tired because he hadn't been able to sleep. Josh had worn the baby blue button up that Tyler had gotten him but was seriously considering going back home to change. Was it too much to wear it? He had tripled up on the bandages and tried to reasure himself that that would be enough as he opened his car door at 7:30, hoping Tyler wasn't mad that he was so late. 

Josh made his way on jelly legs to Tyler's apartment door but paused before knocking. He could hear Tyler inside talking. 

"...Not here. Not gonna be here, Brendon." Silence. "I feel like an idiot. I shouldn't have-" Silence. Josh figured he must be on the phone. "But I knowI gave him the right address, dude. I wrote the letter like four times." Silence. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure he got it because I checked yesterday to see if the box was gone." Silence. Josh's chest panged sharply. Tyler had come to check? "Forget it, man. I'm just gonna clean up and call it a...wait..." Josh could feel Tyler come nearer to the door. 

Not wanting to get busted eavesdropping, he raised his fist and quickly knocked. 

"I-I he's here," Josh heard Tyler squeak, "Bren, I gotta go.... I will. Bye." 

There was a moments pause before Tyler opened the door. His smile made Josh smile even though his nerves were beyond shot. Neither one spoke. Along side of his nerves, Josh felt a slight suggestion of warm, sort of giddy elation that wasn't his. He focused on Tyler's smile and realised it was Tyler's emotion he was sensing. 

Fuck.

This was going to be a rough night. Of course Tyler had to look better than Josh remembered. Josh fought the urge to just walk away. 

ButTyler stepped back, muttering a soft "Hey." and motioned Josh inside. 

"Hey," Josh replied simply. 

Hestepped inside with slow strides and Tyler shut the door behind him. They stood awkwardly for a moment. Josh tried to get used to Tylers scrutiny, because he could feel it. A feeling if curiosity mixed with...contentment? No. A feeling that Tyler liked what he saw that made Josh blush and clear his throat as he looked away from Tylers direction and around the living room.

"Um, nice place." Josh said. The apartment wasn't unlike his own. Small, cozy. A large worn down couch in front of a coffee table and T.V. setting atop a small entertainment center.

"Thanks. I, uh, gotta re heat the sauce a bit," Tyler said softly. "Want something to drink?"

Josh looked back to Tyler and nodded, again Trying to ignore the impressions he was recieving from Tyler. Tyler was just as nervous as Josh and Josh could really feel it. Josh felt doubly nervous. 

He followed Tyler into the small kitchen. He stood awkwardly as Tyler approached the stove and turned the dial to a low setting. 

"Um," Tyler turned to Josh with a half smile, "You can have a seat if you want to." He jestured towards a small dining table with two wooden chairs. Josh sat at the table as Tyler pulled two cans of coke from the refrigerator. Josh accepted the can and tried to smile at Tyler. His face felt wrong. 

Tyler sat down on the empty chair. The two men looked around the room, avoiding each others eyes. Josh felt bad. He had no idea what to do or say now that he was around Tyler. He could feel that Tyler was at a loss too. Josh's chest ached badly and, with a glance down at his still clean shirt, he again prayed that the bandages would hold up. 

Awkward silence filled the room. 

"Josh," Tyler said softly, "Its really okay, I know you're-" But Tyler was inturupted by a jingling sound. 

Josh looked towards the sound, from the entrance to the kitchen. There sat a very petite black cat with a yellow jingle ball in its mouth.

"You have a cat!" Josh leaned down and held his hand out. The cat dropped its ball and observed Josh with curiousity, still poised in the entryway. 

"Yeah. Thats my fur child. Her name is Scrumptious. Be careful. Brendon has the scars to prove she doesnt like peo-" Tyler stopped speaking as Scruptious slinked causiously across the kitchen floor to smell Josh's hand. Her nose deemed Josh to be an okay human and allowed Josh to pet her silky fur. Tyler watched in awe. "Dude." He said, causing Josh to look up at Tyler. 

Josh's chest filled with a subtle warmth that wasnt his own. Scrumptious purred her soft purr and rubbed contently against Josh's shins. 

"What?" Josh asked. 

"She usually hates everyone but me. I mean, shes torn Brendon to shreds and pees in Jennas purse any chance she gets. She won't even let my own mom pet her." 

Josh laughed, "Really?" Scrumptious had her tiny, ity-bity front paws on his knee, sniffing his lap. "I love cats. Yes I do," Josh smiled, lightly baby talking at Scrumptious who had made her way onto his lap and nuzzled at his chin. 

"Looks like you made a fren for life." Tyler smiles, turning to stir the sauce. 

*** 

Tylercould feel Josh relaxing, which in return, calmed his own nerves a bit. His brief memory of Josh hadn't done the pink haired man justice. Josh is beautiful. Again Tyler felt somewhat insignificant against him. 

He glanced over his shoulder as he turned the heat off on the stove. Scrumptious was purring loudly as Josh scratched behind her ears and cooed softly at her. Really, Tyler thought that scrumptious might be a good judge of character...then again that cat was nuts so nevermind. 

"Hope you're hungry," Tyler stated softly while grabbing plates out of the cabinet. Josh chuckled lightly. 

"Almost always am." 

Again Tyler felt a wave of calm rush over him and silently thanked his furry wingman. It was so strange, being able to vaguely feel someone else's emotional state. But that's what happens, as he's heard, when a bond is started. It gets stronger, too, when the bond is nurtured and acted upon. Tyler wasn't sure how he could be recieving the feelings from Josh because Tyler wasn't the one bleeding. But there they were. Tyler's chest hurt just enough to remind him what it had felt like to bleed. Tyler really wanted to hug Josh. Instead he sat a plate full of what he hoped is the best spaghetti Josh had tasted. Josh gently set Scrumptious down onto the ground and settled himself to facing Tyler as Tyler sat down across from him. 

"This, um," Josh started as Tyler passes him a fork, "This looks amazing." 

Tyler smiled, "Hope it tastes amazing." He's trying to not watch Josh as Josh takes the first bite. Josh chews, Tyler takes a bite. They eat in silence for awhile. 

*** 

Joshcould feel Tyler's nerves. Tyler wanted something. Josh couldn't figure out what it was. 

"Wow." Josh says, softly. Both of their plates were nearly empty when he pushed his plate away. 

"Yeah?" Tyler asked. Josh gets it. Tyler wanted to know what he thinks. 

"How did you learn to cook like that? That sauce is amazing." Tyler looked relieved. Josh felt his relief as though it were his own. 

"Thank you. I learned from my mom," They're both standing, taking the dirtied dishes from the table. Tyler scraped the bit of spaghetti left on his plate into the trash, Josh followed suit. "I used to always get on her nerves in the kitchen. Kinda a momma's boy, you know? Always hovering. So she began to teach me things, so my presence became a bit more useful." Tyler took the plate from Josh's hand and placed it into the sink, runs hot water. 

Josh watched Tyler move to the stove, open the cabinet above it. He pulled out pieces of Tupperware. Josh thought that Tyler looked graceful in the kitchen, moving with sure hands. He thought that Tyler is beautiful. So beautiful that it made his chest ache. 

The shells of Tyler's ears turned a bright red. Josh felt intense embarrassment as he realized again that Tyler can feel at least some of what he's feeling. Tyler turned to Josh, clutching a green plastic lid to his chest. His facial expression can't be read. Tyler seems to be searching Josh's eyes for something. 

He's feeling so much that Josh can't place any emotion to distinction. Josh lowered his head, thought again about leaving quickly before anything got more weird. 

When Tyler suddenly stepped into his space, Josh wanted to step back. He couldn't when he raised his eyes to Tyler's eyes. Josh fell a little bit more for Tyler, looking into the blanket like warmth of his soft brown eyes. They both felt like kissing each other. Josh's breath hitched, Tyler spoke softly. 

"C-can I touch your face?" 

Josh wanted to say no, but nodded yes instead. Tyler was still clutching the lid to his chest with his left hand as he reached out with his right hand. Josh's heart felt as though it were going to come out of his chest, burst with pain, until Tyler gently swept his knuckles over Josh's cheek. 

That's when the world outside of their own went silent. Josh felt himself bleed under the bandage. For the first time it felt good, warm in the right way. Tyler slid his thumb over the arch of Josh's eyebrow, along the line of his jaw. Josh closed his eyes, breathed Tyler's breath. Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh's shoulders, pulled Josh against him. 

Both men felt inexplicably complete at the contact. Josh barely heard the plastic lid fall from Tyler's hand to the ground behind him. Josh pressed his hands against the small of Tyler's back. It felt like several puzzle pieces fit in at once. 

"My God," Tyler whispered against Josh's shoulder. "You feel that, too, right?" 

"Yeah." Josh wasn't feeling nervous anymore. In fact he couldn't remember ever having felt so good, so warm, so complete around another person. Tyler lifted his head, Josh opened his eyes to look into Tyler's. He felt that Tyler thinks he's beautiful, too. He felt that Tyler wanted to bleed for him. Josh tried to not imagine how incredible sex could be connected at the level they had reached so quickly.

Josh suddenly remembered that Tyler wasn't single. He started to pull away as the realization hits him painfully. Tyler held him in place, smaller hands gripped the biscept of Josh's arms. 

"I'm sorry, Josh. I'm sorry you're bleeding. I'm sorry it hurts. I'm sorry this night has taken a weird turn...I just... everything inside me wants to get closer to you and I can't seem to help myself. I-" 

"Tyler, it's okay. I...think you're worth it. You feel worth it to me." Josh touched Tyler's cheek, ran his thumb along the barely there stubble of his lower jaw. "I wanna see what happens with...us... with this, whatever it will be. It's worth it." Josh felt Tyler's urge to kiss him, it's so strong that Josh almost leant in to close the gap. But instead he took a gentle step back. "We have a lot of things to figure out. But...let's try to take it easy til we do." 

Josh couldn't believe the logical words that left his mouth when all he really wanted to do was scoop Tyler up and wreck him on the comfortable looking couch in the living room. Tyler nodded, his cheeks had gone a deep pink. 

As soon as Tyler's hands left Josh's arm, the pain in Josh's chest turned on full blast again. He's began to understand that physical contact with Tyler actually stopped the pain. It hurt so much more after feeling it go away for that brief time. 

"Would you want to stay a little longer?" Tyler asked, bending down to pick up the lid he'd dropped. Josh ignored the pain. 

"Yeah, um, let me help you clean this up." 

Tyler smiled, "I'll wash. You dry." 

Doing domestic duty with Tyler felt normal. Josh didn't feel like he was around a stranger as much anymore. 

*** 

Tyler suggested they watch a movie. They sat at each end of the couch. Tyler has trouble with the feeling he wants Josh to stay, stay, stay because he can feel the bond swelling quickly. It's addictive to experience the almost magical feeling of it. 

When he asks Josh what movie he'd wanna see, Josh explained that he's not picky. So Tyler picked the longest movie he could think of: The Shawshank Redemption. 

They start the movie in silence. Tyler's happy that Josh didn't mind his choice, but Josh looks extremely uncomfortable. His face was drawn tight, cheeks flushed. It didn't take long for Tyler to actually feel why Josh was uncomfortable. He was in pain. The more Tyler focused on it, the more he felt it as his own. 

His own chest ached so much that he looked down to make sure he wasn't bleeding. He wonders how he can feel Josh so clearly, yet not bleed. Tyler remembers the time he had bled. He'd never felt such disgust with himself. The physical pain was too much, the mental anguish of being hated by the one your soul tries to bond with is even worse. What's more, he could actually feel the hate for himself that the man had felt for him. Tyler had been messed up for months over it, stopped bleeding after 6 months. His chest had finally closed, leaving a shiny, smooth, pale pink scar right above his heart. It was thin, like a cat scratch, and as long as his pinky A full year later, the pain was no more. The scar tissue felt numb to the touch. 

Tyler absently brings a hand up to touch the scar through his shirt. It hurts, it's oddly raw. It felt bruised, somehow. Tyler couldn't decide if it was residual from Josh's pain, or from his own heart wanting to bleed for Josh so badly; his own soul trying to bond but unable to reach outside of him. He couldn't stomach the idea of Josh feeling like he had, feeling the pain, the disgust. He thought Josh deserved to feel loved, to know it was okay to bleed for Tyler because Tyler really cared.

He'd read that it was difficult for people to bleed again after an unrequited bonding. It wasn't uncommon, love is fickle, souls are lonely. Tyler had tried to reason with himself over why his soul would have reached out for someone who would never love him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at Josh. Josh's eyes were on the TV screen. His brows furrowed. He was really trying to watch the movie. But Tyler can feel that he's nearly feverish with pain. Tyler can't stand it. Josh is so far away on the couch. Tyler scoots closer to Josh, until they're nearly touching. 

"I-I'm sorry, but," Tyler starts, cannot get his voice to work to explain. Tyler knows that it's not typically socially acceptable to get so close to someone you barely know, but he'd already spent moments in the kitchen hugging Josh and thinking seriously about kissing him. Josh was simply blinking and waiting. Tyler watched his throat muscles move when he swallowed. Tyler licked his dry lips and tried again, "I know you're hurting right now. I know this helps..." Tyler holds his hand out. Josh blinked down at it before allowing himself to slide his fingers between Tyler's.

Tyler felt Josh relax, could see his body visibly lose tension. There's a moment where both men watch their joined hands. Tyler feels tension he didn't even know was there leave him, also. He never imagined just touching someone could bring him such peace. 

At first, it was very awkward to be holding hands with someone he wasn't too familiar with. But the lull he sensed in Josh was contagious. Tyler felt his posture sinking into the couch. Very slowly, Josh scooted down enough so that he could lay his head on Tyler's shoulder. Tyler melted a bit at seeing Josh relax so much. 

"Thank you," Josh says through a sigh. Tyler subtly nuzzles Josh's dry pink curls. They smelled so clean. They make a very hushed crunching noise as Tyler rests his cheek against them. They both stay quiet for a time, relaxed by the strange peace they felt of just being around each other. 

"Josh." Tyler says, quietly as he can.

"Hm?" 

"What's your favorite color?" Josh actually chuckles at the sudden question. 

"Umm, blue, I think." 

"You think?" Tyler quips, he felt Josh's cheek raise against his shoulder with a smile. 

"Favorite colors change." 

"True." 

"What's yours?" 

"Red... right now." 

Josh laughs. "Okay. What's your favorite food?" 

"Probably...tacos." 

*** 

Josh didn't want to dwell on the fact that he was downright snuggling with a stranger. It felt right, it felt good, it felt natural.

The movie is forgotten in lieu of random questions and shared laughter. Sometime in between sharing thoughts and memories, they've both forgotten they're strangers. They unwittingly let the bond guide them into familiarity. Josh knows the callouses on Tyler's right hand as though it had been common knowledge of Tyler; hears the sound of his laughter as though he had heard it all his life. 

Tyler has guided Josh's head so it rests on his chest, both hands in Josh's hair, fingers winding and unwinding into the dry pink curls. 

"Let's see," Tyler hums absently to the end credits song playing quietly from the ignored screen of his TV, "Got a favorite album of all time?" Josh watches his own finger make invisible patterns on Tyler's shirt covered stomach. It's flat and soft. Josh wonders what his skin feels like under the shirt. 

"That's a tough one," Josh replies, eyes closing in lull of Tyler's steady heart beat and fingers scratching gently at his scalp. 

"Yeah, I don't even know if I could pick just one." Tyler found himself smelling Josh's hair again. 

"Could be... Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie." Josh smoothed his palm over Tyler's stomach, erasing invisible designs. 

"Oh man. Yeah. There isn't even a bad note on that album." 

"Agreed. I love the way-" 

"All the songs pretty much flow into the next song evenly?" 

"Exactly!" Josh lifts his head some to look at Tyler's smile, 

"A Lack of Color ends in the same notes the New Year begins in." Tyler's smile softened as he began tracing the smile lines on Josh's face. Josh felt that Tyler's thinking he's beautiful again. Josh feels loved. Josh gave into the rush of warmth, allowed himself to lean up and place a shy kiss on Tyler's right cheek, on the dimple there. He lingered there, enjoying the warmth of just being so close. 

Tyler's right hand curls and in curls gently against the back of Josh's neck, before he's bringing both arms to wrap around Josh. Josh breathes into the crook of Tyler's neck while he slides his own arms around Tyler's middle. Scrumptious goes unnoticed by their closed eyes as she pads along the top of the couch, sniffing at Tyler's hair.

Then Tyler is giggling. Josh couldn't stop himself from smiling against the warm skin of Tyler's neck. 

"What?" Josh asked, feels Tyler shake his head in response. 

"This is just...so weird. And so amazing. I didn't know it could feel like...like..." Tyler trails off, unable to find the words. 

Josh nuzzles into Tyler's neck, "Like magic," Josh finishes, "Unreal, like magic." 

"Yeah...it definitely didn't feel like this for me the first time." Josh felt a strange coldness in his chest as Tyler mentions the first time. It wasn't his own emotion, the black pit of just cold. 

"What...what happened back then?" Tyler hesitated. His arms tightened around Josh just slightly. 

"I...it was..." Tyler clears his throat. "I'm sorry ..can we just save it for another time? I'm just...not... right now?" Josh felt the worry, the disgusted feelings in Tyler. 

"It's okay...it's okay. Not right now." He adjusted his position in Tyler's arms to press a kiss to Tyler's jaw. Tyler thanks him silently with a kiss to his temple. 

They remain there for a few quiet moments later, the late hour creeping up on them. Scrumptious snoozes beside Tyler's thighs. Dread is slinking it's way into Josh's stomach as he asked "What time is it?" 

"Well according to my DVD player it's twelve o'clock, twelve o'clock, twelve o'clock all the time." Josh laughs into Tyler's shoulder. "But I think it's probably nearing one a.m." 

"Damn, I've been here awhile." 

Tyler let's out a long sigh. "I really don't want you to go," He confessed softly. 

"And I really don't want to go but..." Josh sits up, Tyler's fingers cling to his arms. "I make some killer tacos. You like tacos. Maybe you could come have taco night withme tomorrow?" Tyler released his death grip on Josh's arm and pushed the fingers of his left hand through Josh's pink curls.

"Yeah, count me in. I'm off of work at four tomorrow...when would you be free?" Josh leans his head into Tyler's touch. 

"Um...I work til 5:30. Maybe you could come over around six thirty or seven?" Tyler pulls Josh back down against him, 

"That sounds good. Just gimme five more minutes like this..." Josh chuckled and resumes nuzzling into Tyler's neck, reveling in feeling so warm and loved. 

It's two a.m. by the time Josh leaves Tyler with a another kiss to his right smile dimple, and a wonderfully achey chest. Before driving home, Josh sits in his car, feeling like he's never felt before. He sends off a text to Brendon. 

**You were right. Tyler is amazing. You can keep the maxi pads, but I still want taco bell.** 

***  
TBC

**Author's Note:**

> Please please let me know what you think! Comments/kudos seriously appreciated. I'm trying to grow as a writer and I kinda need help so... Gentle critiques welcome, ideas welcome also.


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